"We Have to Talk": Managing Difficult Conversations with Your Partner

It's not easy to have difficult conversations when you don't like conflict, especially about doubts and disappointments in the relationship, especially if you experience unsatisfying sexual intimacy.

Disappointments men often address are "loneliness in a couple, having an emotionally neglecting partner (rejecting or controlling behaviors, etc.), and insufficient sexual stimulation."

Women use terms like "depressed, emotionally sad, and pain."

To start the conversation with awareness, the speaker must choose words mindfully and avoid making the listening partner feel defensive. This way, the listening partner opens up because they are not under attack.

Focus on what makes you happy, and then continue sharing what you would like to change. When you speak from your heart about what you feel, you are not judging or blaming.

Want to be a better listener?

  • Start the conversation constructively by giving positive feedback
  • Choose the right time to talk
  • Give up the need to be right
  • Stay focused on the problem at hand
  • Make understanding a goal
  • Stay curious
  • Ask clarifying questions
  • Reflect on what you hear to see if you have it right, even if you disagree
  • Don't split your focus between the speaker and something else
  • Try to find something to agree with

Questions to gain understanding during a conflict:

  • What is your need?
  • Is there a deeper purpose or goal for you about this?
  • Does this relate to your background in some way?

Engaged American couples reveal their doubts about marriage: "Don't Worry, Be Happy." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVcucwFySPY

Engaged couples sharing about their intimate life? What do you think?  

"How are you going to keep your sex life alive?" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CnVkt_F6_qQ&list=RDCMUCbaGn5VkOVlcRgIWAHcrJKA&start_radio=1&rv=CnVkt_F6_qQ&t=1

Please view https://docnoor.com to schedule a coaching consultation with sexologist Christina Lindea alone or with your partner to discover how to better manage difficult conversations and handle situational conflicts in the relationship.